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Sometime last week, Nate and I had a falling out. It was something to do with work, and somehow, it moved from work to us. Then it became a hug fight. The kind of huge that you say things that are intentionally meant to hurt, and hurt each other we both did.
I was angry at him for blaming me for something I knew was not my fault, he was angry that instead of understanding how hw is feeling, no matter how farfetched it is, i argue with him. Patience is a virtue i don't have, and i handled the situation badly. In an effort to make me see what he was talking about, he ended up attacking me- verbally that is.
What had started as a nice day, with him taking me to his office as he sometimes so lovingly does so that we can spend the day together - and still work- ended in disaster. Full blown disaster.
I was ready to leave, cal it quits. We went to bed, each battling our own demons - something that in teh last 11 months we have been together, we have NEVER done. We always solve our disputes before bed. That day, we did not. Bad idea.
In the morning, we sorta picked where we left and by noon, I was packing to leave. Then something happened that snapped both of us to reality. A moment of awakening that made me question what I was doing. I sat on the bed and held him. We lay there, quiet. He had been disappointed in something he had invested so much in, he had been feeling weak and vulnerable, I had reacted by criticizing how he handles disappointment. His passion is huge. Reflects in his disappointment, my pal said. True, but we could have both handled it differently.
We spent the day talking about what went wrong, what we should have done and what we will do better in future. We took a long walk with our dog to the Arboretum and talked about the future. In a way that we have never done before. We came to one conclusion, none of us is going anywhere. We are in this for good.
I feel reborn with him like we are meeting all over again. He is sending me texts every hour to remind me how much i mean to him. I think about him too much, and call him as much.
For some reason, that fight made us make decisions we had been afraid to make, say things to each other we had been afraid to say and it feels great!
I am in love. And there is no greater feeling!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Our first Christmas
This is our first Christmas together. We had plans. That involved the beach and the spice islands, Zanzibar. Or Lamu, whichever place we got accommodation first.
After days of calling and emailing, I finally got the hotel I really wanted in Zanzibar. We had it all laid out. Couple of days on the beach, maybe a day in stone town...with lots of lying around and relaxing.
Then, Nathan went back to the office the week before Christmas, and he learnt that he would only get 3 days off, basically, the Christmas weekend only. Not enough time to fly all the way to Zanzibar or Lamu. We started looking around, closer to home...we even toyed around with Maasai Mara. But then, Nathan would be doing a lot of driving, not enough rest for him. So, finally, we decided to stay home. And get a Christmas tree. I was disappointed but i was sure of one thing... I just wanted to be with him. No work, no phones, no schedules, no outside world, just us.
Nate got the perfect tree, we decorated it (early Christmas morning because we spent the whole of 24th shopping and watching movies, too exhausted). We opened our presents, which Nate had been aching to open for days... I had wrapped his gifts earlier, after getting tired of trying to hide them from him, i decided to just wrap them and put them under the undecorated tree.
One of the reasons why he was so excited about his presents is because he was speculating. He was guessing what I had gotten him, but he kept telling me that it was impossible to get whatever he was guessing. Everyday, he would go touch the presents, trying to feel them out.
I knew he wanted Entourage - complete series. I could only get them on Amazon. So I went online and shopped. We had also seen this cute little coupon book months earlier, in a media store at one of the malls next to our home, that I knew he really wanted. When I went back to get it, they were out of stock. So I goggled them. It's a small booklet of IOU and checks. He / I can write out a cheque to him for anything - breakfast in bed, makeout session, striptease, whatever you can think of, and he can write me IOU's of the same, which I can claim This is how they look like:
I got a couple of those and others too ;-). They promised shipping of the Entourage complete series before 24th Dec, which was perfect. The coupons would arrive after Christmas. I got a text from DHL on the 20th that my package was awaiting customs clearance and I needed to give permission for them to pay on my behalf pending reimbursement. They promised to deliver on 21st. They did not. Amazon then wrote to me and said that they would ship the coupons earlier, and i would get them by 25th. Yippee! On 22nd, after convincing Nate to sleep in...the bell rang. I knew it was DHL. tsk tsk! I rushed to the door. There is a couple friend staying with us for 7 months. Brian, the boyfriend was on his way to the door too. I asked him to sign for the package, pay for it and keep it until Nathan left for work. I then went back to the bedroom, told Nate that it was someone looking for Brian...no one we know...phew! He bought it. I spent the next few days trying to hide the DVDs from him but somehow, he kept going to all the places I had hidden them. Finally, I decided to wrap them and out them under the tree. On 24th, again, we were lying in bed when he saw the DHL car in the packing lot. Grrr. few minutes later, the doorbell rang. This time round, there was no hiding. However, since the package was not as big, I showed him the little box, told him it was his...and I could see him trying to guess what it was.
Back to Christmas day...
He had gotten me the Blackberry Curve. We had passed by the Safaricom shop, I had fallen in love with it, but it was so expensive. I knew he got me a phone (coz i saw the bag he was carrying), I didn't think he got me the one I wanted.
When he opened the Entourage Series, he was ecstatic.The sex coupons and IOU's blew his mind off.
We set up the projector in the living room, dropped a mattress on the floor and watched Entourage on a 6 feet x 4 feet screen on the wall, the whole day. We ordered in, and cuddled. This was how the next few days were spent. These were best days of my life. Doing nothing, being with my baby...
And there were his best too. He said it, a couple of times...
After days of calling and emailing, I finally got the hotel I really wanted in Zanzibar. We had it all laid out. Couple of days on the beach, maybe a day in stone town...with lots of lying around and relaxing.
Then, Nathan went back to the office the week before Christmas, and he learnt that he would only get 3 days off, basically, the Christmas weekend only. Not enough time to fly all the way to Zanzibar or Lamu. We started looking around, closer to home...we even toyed around with Maasai Mara. But then, Nathan would be doing a lot of driving, not enough rest for him. So, finally, we decided to stay home. And get a Christmas tree. I was disappointed but i was sure of one thing... I just wanted to be with him. No work, no phones, no schedules, no outside world, just us.
Nate got the perfect tree, we decorated it (early Christmas morning because we spent the whole of 24th shopping and watching movies, too exhausted). We opened our presents, which Nate had been aching to open for days... I had wrapped his gifts earlier, after getting tired of trying to hide them from him, i decided to just wrap them and put them under the undecorated tree.
One of the reasons why he was so excited about his presents is because he was speculating. He was guessing what I had gotten him, but he kept telling me that it was impossible to get whatever he was guessing. Everyday, he would go touch the presents, trying to feel them out.
I knew he wanted Entourage - complete series. I could only get them on Amazon. So I went online and shopped. We had also seen this cute little coupon book months earlier, in a media store at one of the malls next to our home, that I knew he really wanted. When I went back to get it, they were out of stock. So I goggled them. It's a small booklet of IOU and checks. He / I can write out a cheque to him for anything - breakfast in bed, makeout session, striptease, whatever you can think of, and he can write me IOU's of the same, which I can claim This is how they look like:
Back to Christmas day...
He had gotten me the Blackberry Curve. We had passed by the Safaricom shop, I had fallen in love with it, but it was so expensive. I knew he got me a phone (coz i saw the bag he was carrying), I didn't think he got me the one I wanted.
When he opened the Entourage Series, he was ecstatic.The sex coupons and IOU's blew his mind off.
We set up the projector in the living room, dropped a mattress on the floor and watched Entourage on a 6 feet x 4 feet screen on the wall, the whole day. We ordered in, and cuddled. This was how the next few days were spent. These were best days of my life. Doing nothing, being with my baby...
And there were his best too. He said it, a couple of times...
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Leaving Caracas
Nate joined me in Caracas 2 weeks after I arrived there. And what a relief! I have been alone in different countries before but this was different. Even though I can speak enough Spanish to get me what I want, I couldn't bring myself to go out by myself. I experienced something have never experienced in my life - fear of speaking! So i stayed home, watched TV and worked my ass off.
When he arrived, we went out, he took me to where he grew up, the park he used to go as a kid, we spent a weekend at his parents beach penthouse in Tucacas (all pictures to follow...if I get the inspiration to upload them).
However, something was not nagging us. The work schedule was not going as planned, his time in Venezuela was running short and he still hadn't achieved what he was there to do. I have to say, these were the most challenging 2 weeks of our lives...both mentally and emotionally. Even though he grew up (partly) in Caracas, things had changed, and here we were, both of us feeling like tow fish out of water. He speaks fluent Spanish, so I let him do all the talking :-)
It was time for him to leave, I had 2 more weeks there. On the morning of his departure, the work issues got so much, we almost called it off. On a whim, i told him i wanted to leave too. His flight was at 5.40 pm, it was around 11 am when i decided i wanted to leave too. So I called Swiss Air in US and asked for a flight change. They put me on the waiting list, which basically meant that I had to go to the airport with Nate as he was going to check-in, and talk to the people at the desk to see if they was space for me on the flight.
I packed, crossed my fingers, and begged the universe the let there be space on the flight. I really didn't care if we sat together, but I wanted to be on the same flight as him. We got the airport, waited in the queue, counting how many people were before us. We were almost the last people on the check-in queue, even tough we were 2 hours early. When we got the desk, thankfully after 10 minutes of waiting, I got space on the flight.
As luck would have it, someone was sitting on Nate's seat since and wanted to keep the seat as the rest of her family was on the same. The seat next to mine was empty. Ha! I talked to the flight attendant, who was having a rough time playing musical chairs with families that had ended up on separate seats and wanted to sit together...
We did end up sitting together, not only from Caracas to Frankfurt, but all the way to Nairobi.
He had hard drives, power cables, and--only gawd know how he had managed to get through all the other securities with that--a luggage scale!
<<< It looks like this.
Let me rant a bit. We are not allowed on planes with nail files, nail cutters, and he had gone through Caracas and Frankfurt security checks with that thing? It has a frigging hook!! How could they let him through with that!! The only thing they took from him at Fran
So he had to explain what it is for, explain what the hard drives are etc. When he was satisfied, as Nathan was repacking his bag, he asked.
' Are you two...' he then put both his index fingers parallel to each other, indicating what we interpreted as 'together'. We both said yes.
He then pointed at me and said.
'You, my wife. Now'
Nathan and i looked at each other first in shock then we burst out laughing! Nathan said it was time to get out of there, fast! And fast we left...
Then came the next queue. Boarding. The weird thing in Cairo is that they don't put your passport through any scanner. They just look at it, then look at you, then look at it again, then give it back.
When we got to security (again), I was first. This time they didn't bother with Nathans luggage scale, it was about us...again. For some reason, even though we were not the only interracial couple on the flight, we seemed to be drawing a lot of attention. I was first inline. I went through, and as Nathan was about to go through, the security guy checking the passport asked
'You together?'
Then all the security men, who were more than five all turned to look at me. I was getting really worried.
We said yes. As I was picking my bags, the security lady (first one i had come across in the whole airport) finally answered the big question.
Nathan was now laughing out aloud asked loudly, 'Why do they keep asking us that?'
The lady replied.
'She is very beautiful. Very beautiful'
Nope, not blowing my own horn. You can check with Nathan.
So that was it. The security men at Cairo airport just wanted to keep me :-), only the first guy had the balls to claim me as his wife...Nathan or not.
We finally got on the plane. I thought we had boarded the wrong one! It was as tiny and old as the Kenyan domestic flights planes. And the service! I still maintain That airline is run by their military service. I felt like i was in bootcamp! The flightcadet attendant (who were, by the way, ALL male) literally slapped my arm to wake up up for the meal! It was not a tap, I swear!
Got to Nairobi at 3am, went through immigration superfast, only to spend the next 1 hour waiting for my bag. Thought it had been checked in under Nathan's name in Caracas, only his arrived. After the 1 hour wait, I noticed something on the claim tag. My bag had been checked to Addis!
I was home, and even though it took a week to get the bag back (after being told that its in Addis one day, FRankfurt on the other and Cairo on the next), I was happy.
When he arrived, we went out, he took me to where he grew up, the park he used to go as a kid, we spent a weekend at his parents beach penthouse in Tucacas (all pictures to follow...if I get the inspiration to upload them).
However, something was not nagging us. The work schedule was not going as planned, his time in Venezuela was running short and he still hadn't achieved what he was there to do. I have to say, these were the most challenging 2 weeks of our lives...both mentally and emotionally. Even though he grew up (partly) in Caracas, things had changed, and here we were, both of us feeling like tow fish out of water. He speaks fluent Spanish, so I let him do all the talking :-)
It was time for him to leave, I had 2 more weeks there. On the morning of his departure, the work issues got so much, we almost called it off. On a whim, i told him i wanted to leave too. His flight was at 5.40 pm, it was around 11 am when i decided i wanted to leave too. So I called Swiss Air in US and asked for a flight change. They put me on the waiting list, which basically meant that I had to go to the airport with Nate as he was going to check-in, and talk to the people at the desk to see if they was space for me on the flight.
I packed, crossed my fingers, and begged the universe the let there be space on the flight. I really didn't care if we sat together, but I wanted to be on the same flight as him. We got the airport, waited in the queue, counting how many people were before us. We were almost the last people on the check-in queue, even tough we were 2 hours early. When we got the desk, thankfully after 10 minutes of waiting, I got space on the flight.
As luck would have it, someone was sitting on Nate's seat since and wanted to keep the seat as the rest of her family was on the same. The seat next to mine was empty. Ha! I talked to the flight attendant, who was having a rough time playing musical chairs with families that had ended up on separate seats and wanted to sit together...
We did end up sitting together, not only from Caracas to Frankfurt, but all the way to Nairobi.
We also managed to miss our flight to Addis which was our connecting flight to Nairobi, and had to catch the next one...on Egypt Air, flying via Cairo. The security guy in Cairo at the transfer security point was half asleep as my bag went through, but woke up half way through Nathans'. We were the only ones checking in. He had Nathan remove all the contents of his carry-on.
He had hard drives, power cables, and--only gawd know how he had managed to get through all the other securities with that--a luggage scale!
<<< It looks like this.
Let me rant a bit. We are not allowed on planes with nail files, nail cutters, and he had gone through Caracas and Frankfurt security checks with that thing? It has a frigging hook!! How could they let him through with that!! The only thing they took from him at Fran
So he had to explain what it is for, explain what the hard drives are etc. When he was satisfied, as Nathan was repacking his bag, he asked.
' Are you two...' he then put both his index fingers parallel to each other, indicating what we interpreted as 'together'. We both said yes.
He then pointed at me and said.
'You, my wife. Now'
Nathan and i looked at each other first in shock then we burst out laughing! Nathan said it was time to get out of there, fast! And fast we left...
Then came the next queue. Boarding. The weird thing in Cairo is that they don't put your passport through any scanner. They just look at it, then look at you, then look at it again, then give it back.
When we got to security (again), I was first. This time they didn't bother with Nathans luggage scale, it was about us...again. For some reason, even though we were not the only interracial couple on the flight, we seemed to be drawing a lot of attention. I was first inline. I went through, and as Nathan was about to go through, the security guy checking the passport asked
'You together?'
Then all the security men, who were more than five all turned to look at me. I was getting really worried.
We said yes. As I was picking my bags, the security lady (first one i had come across in the whole airport) finally answered the big question.
Nathan was now laughing out aloud asked loudly, 'Why do they keep asking us that?'
The lady replied.
'She is very beautiful. Very beautiful'
Nope, not blowing my own horn. You can check with Nathan.
So that was it. The security men at Cairo airport just wanted to keep me :-), only the first guy had the balls to claim me as his wife...Nathan or not.
We finally got on the plane. I thought we had boarded the wrong one! It was as tiny and old as the Kenyan domestic flights planes. And the service! I still maintain That airline is run by their military service. I felt like i was in bootcamp! The flight
Got to Nairobi at 3am, went through immigration superfast, only to spend the next 1 hour waiting for my bag. Thought it had been checked in under Nathan's name in Caracas, only his arrived. After the 1 hour wait, I noticed something on the claim tag. My bag had been checked to Addis!
I was home, and even though it took a week to get the bag back (after being told that its in Addis one day, FRankfurt on the other and Cairo on the next), I was happy.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Close your eyes
The night before Nate left for China, we lay in bed talking for so long. We talked about our future, our times apart, our work and mostly, what we mean to each other. We had spent the whole week working really hard, but making sure that we were working in the same location. Somehow, for us, being next to each other albeit lost in work, was better than being apart.
So I started humming this tune i used to know in my teens. Being a boy band song, Nate didn't need a rap sheet. Somehow he got the tunes and we sang --very badly--but sweetly to each other...
Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be
Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I love you
All we have is here tonight
We don't want to waste this time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your lips on mine
And I'll love you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes
I know I'm gonna see you again
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I'll, I'll love, Love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are
(Chorus)
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you're feeling low
Is there anywhere that love cannot reach?
Oh no
It could be anywhere on earth
It could be anywhere I'll be
Oh baby if you want to see
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Look to your heart
That's where I'll be
Just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes
Now, as i pack to leave for Caracas, I am humming the same song, and he does feel like he is here
So I started humming this tune i used to know in my teens. Being a boy band song, Nate didn't need a rap sheet. Somehow he got the tunes and we sang --very badly--but sweetly to each other...
Tomorrow morning I have to leave
But wherever I may be
Best believe I'm thinking of you
I can't believe how much I love you
All we have is here tonight
We don't want to waste this time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your lips on mine
And I'll love you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes
I know I'm gonna see you again
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I'll, I'll love, Love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are
(Chorus)
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you're feeling low
Is there anywhere that love cannot reach?
Oh no
It could be anywhere on earth
It could be anywhere I'll be
Oh baby if you want to see
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Look to your heart
That's where I'll be
Just close your eyes
Till your drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes
Now, as i pack to leave for Caracas, I am humming the same song, and he does feel like he is here
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Too tired?
I used to say I can never be too tired for sex. Apparently i was not working hard enough then. Or I was too young (now that sounds out-rightly wrong!). whichever the case, I never saw that day when all i would want to do is sleep, where i actually fell asleep before hit the pillow, with a very sexy man lying next to me. And I found myself doing that last night. I had all intentions of getting down, but my body had other ideas. Like sleep, even though m mind was on hyper-drive horny.
Usually, a roll in sack will result into my otherwise tired bored feeling all refreshed, after that toe curling climax, the tiredness seems to ebb slowly starting from my head down to my toes. Always feels like someone is running a beam of light inside of me a beam full of revitalizing concoctions that work in seconds. Not yesterday. Na-ah. Yester-night i lay there, drifting into blissful sleep while my mind, and other parts screamt no, wake up, give us the release...Then my brain decided to act. There i was, those few seconds right before you loose touch with the conscious world, those seconds between aware and not, those that feel the same as when you are going under general anesthesia, where everything merges into one, you are there, yet you're not. (If that doesn't describe it, nothing will). So my brain decides to think about sex. The foreplay, what feels good, what i wish would last longer, what makes me clutch the sheets like dying man hanging on a thread of life, that moment when my nerves communicate with each other all at once and i loose control...
All the while i can no longer tell whether its actually happening, or i am just thinking about it. That is what i recall as my last thought, before switching to a dream that i can recall.
This morning, first thing that Nate asks is, How did you sleep. Maybe I imagined it to be there...he did have a twinkle in his eye. Maybe not. I won't ask.
Usually, a roll in sack will result into my otherwise tired bored feeling all refreshed, after that toe curling climax, the tiredness seems to ebb slowly starting from my head down to my toes. Always feels like someone is running a beam of light inside of me a beam full of revitalizing concoctions that work in seconds. Not yesterday. Na-ah. Yester-night i lay there, drifting into blissful sleep while my mind, and other parts screamt no, wake up, give us the release...Then my brain decided to act. There i was, those few seconds right before you loose touch with the conscious world, those seconds between aware and not, those that feel the same as when you are going under general anesthesia, where everything merges into one, you are there, yet you're not. (If that doesn't describe it, nothing will). So my brain decides to think about sex. The foreplay, what feels good, what i wish would last longer, what makes me clutch the sheets like dying man hanging on a thread of life, that moment when my nerves communicate with each other all at once and i loose control...
All the while i can no longer tell whether its actually happening, or i am just thinking about it. That is what i recall as my last thought, before switching to a dream that i can recall.
This morning, first thing that Nate asks is, How did you sleep. Maybe I imagined it to be there...he did have a twinkle in his eye. Maybe not. I won't ask.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Dating while Dating
Now that we no longer work in the same office, at some point, it felt like we have to make appointments to see each other. By the time Nate gets home, he is too tired to even take a walk, and I'm still buried deep in work. Then, suddenly, it felt like we had to fight for us to be able to hold a conversation. And that was taking the toll out of us, out of our relationship. We would keep working until midnight, only talk in between sending an email. Sometimes even chat on Facebook to each other while sitting next to each other. Really Bad.
Then we watch the movie UP and just seeing those two spend their lives together stuck a cord in us. It really got to Nate how lonely the man become after his wife died, but he thought that the memories he kept of them were cute. And that's what we should strive to do. Have as many memories of each other as much as we can... you can never have enough!
So we have resolved that everyday, we will stop working (or i will) the minute he walks in through the door. We will make dinner together to give us time to talk and be together, then we will watch a movie or just lie in bed and talk. Or not :-). This has worked wonders! I cant wait for him to get home! Last week he surprised me by asking me out for a date and the whole day i couldn't stop looking at the clock! It feels nice to recapture the magic of dating, even though we are still dating. Somehow, when life becomes to busy, we forget that 10 minutes with the man / woman in your life could change the whole relationship.
And everyday, i have fun trying to figure out what do do with each other. Go for a movie? have takeout? Make dinner? what to watch? What to read to each other...
Today its takeout and Dexter Season 3...in bed :-)
Then we watch the movie UP and just seeing those two spend their lives together stuck a cord in us. It really got to Nate how lonely the man become after his wife died, but he thought that the memories he kept of them were cute. And that's what we should strive to do. Have as many memories of each other as much as we can... you can never have enough!
So we have resolved that everyday, we will stop working (or i will) the minute he walks in through the door. We will make dinner together to give us time to talk and be together, then we will watch a movie or just lie in bed and talk. Or not :-). This has worked wonders! I cant wait for him to get home! Last week he surprised me by asking me out for a date and the whole day i couldn't stop looking at the clock! It feels nice to recapture the magic of dating, even though we are still dating. Somehow, when life becomes to busy, we forget that 10 minutes with the man / woman in your life could change the whole relationship.
And everyday, i have fun trying to figure out what do do with each other. Go for a movie? have takeout? Make dinner? what to watch? What to read to each other...
Today its takeout and Dexter Season 3...in bed :-)
Re-Entry Issues
I thought that i reserved for Visas and travel. Not relationships So when Nate came back from Indonesia, and it was fabulosity, welcome back kisses and whatnot's, the following day when we had a fight, I was lost. I could not understand why we were fighting yet we should be glad to see each other after weeks of separation. Somehow, I felt like it was him who wanted the fight. Until his mother and I had a talk and I saw what it was. A lot had been going on when we were apart. He was dealing with working until 3 am in Asia and seeing so much destruction, pain and loss, while I had been dealing with health issues and worries and work. Somehow, we expected that once we were togwther again, all that stuff would disappear and life would continue as normal.
It did not.
We had our few hours of rejoining bliss before life reminded us that it still continues. And when Nate couldn't solve my issues, i got angry at him. Then i got cross and snippy. And he got angry at me being snippy. Then he got snippy. Blast! We are two very passionate people. And this is great when we apply it to our love, romance, work and all things nice. But when applied to anger, passion becomes a volcano. Then we are both stubborn. I am more stubborn and that is not a title i wear with pride. Not in such instances. So I got angry at him accused him of not caring, not understanding.... he accused me of not listening, not being patient...and on it went.
So when his mom explained how she still gets 're-entry' issues with her husband, at first it did not make sense. Then I forced myself to look at the situation, what had gotten me to the mood i was in and the state of mind... and then i got it! I expected him to come back and devote all his time into asking me how MY life was, MY issues were.... and he expected the same. That left us in one place. I did not take time to listen to him, he did not bother to ask me.
We addressed that. And spent eons talking about it. And it was so sweet to hear him talk about his worries about me, about the people he met in Indonesia and it felt relieving to tell hm about how scared i was and how worried i was about him.
And ow i know better!
It did not.
We had our few hours of rejoining bliss before life reminded us that it still continues. And when Nate couldn't solve my issues, i got angry at him. Then i got cross and snippy. And he got angry at me being snippy. Then he got snippy. Blast! We are two very passionate people. And this is great when we apply it to our love, romance, work and all things nice. But when applied to anger, passion becomes a volcano. Then we are both stubborn.
So when his mom explained how she still gets 're-entry' issues with her husband, at first it did not make sense. Then I forced myself to look at the situation, what had gotten me to the mood i was in and the state of mind... and then i got it! I expected him to come back and devote all his time into asking me how MY life was, MY issues were.... and he expected the same. That left us in one place. I did not take time to listen to him, he did not bother to ask me.
We addressed that. And spent eons talking about it. And it was so sweet to hear him talk about his worries about me, about the people he met in Indonesia and it felt relieving to tell hm about how scared i was and how worried i was about him.
And ow i know better!
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